There's a bit of an unwritten rule among mothers of babies: If your child is sleeping through the night do NOT say it out loud, write it down, or heaven forbid - post it on facebook. For as soon as the words - my kid is a sleeping genius - comes out of your mouth, you will spend the next nights up and down with your "sleeping genius" as she cries and feeds at all hours of the wee morning. Hours that used to be reserved for stumbling out of a club with smeared make-up and cotton mouth already forming.

So I've decided to use this blog to test my theory - if boasting about the amount of sleep you and your baby are getting immediately causes your child to revert back to her "night-time is for crying and food, right?" phase then surely complaining about the horrible nights you've been having should cause the baby to suddenly fall in love with sleepy-time.

See that look on the Frenchman's face? That's exhaustion. The look on Eloise -pure malice.

The past two nights Eloise has been waking at midnight, at 3am and then at 6am. We've gone through the check list to see what's wrong - room too warm? Too cold? Dirty diaper? Stuffed nose. That's it. So at 3 am we're picking the snot of her nose. No? That's not it? Teething. Give her teething powders. Really? Still not happy? Give in and feed her. And so for the next 45 minutes I nurse Eloise with my head lolling about with the need for sleep. Repeat this two more times until at 6am I kick the Frenchman out of bed, lie Eloise next to me so she can eat buffet style while I sleep.

I would assume it was a growth spurt - but one that only lasts at night? You're killing me kid.

So there it is. Our sleep woes out in the open. Now do your thing sleep theory and make it go away. Of course if it does work, you won't hear it from me.

First rule of sleeping through the night? Do not talk about sleeping through the night.